San Jose del Cabo

Walking on the beach.....

Happy!

View from our room.....

View from the Hilton looking south...

Aunt Danielle with her biggest fan....

View from our cabana at the pool.....

Swim up bar!

No Kindle..just a book for me

Our second dinner at Las Ventanas

Las Ventanas!

Me and M

Just flew in today. I was so sad to leave beach paradise. I did not bring my computer on this trip, so only checked my email a few short times during my stay. It was nice to be unplugged. We stayed at the Hilton San Juan Cabo San Lucas. For what it was, it was perfect. Beach and pool and atmosphere all blended together evenly. I always had in my mind that Cabo was a touristy, party spot, but our week was restful, full of great food and lots and lots of relaxation. I had a very important dream while I was there and it helped me tremendously with my grief and I felt some pretty profound completeness around my marriage ending. I felt more like myself (or rather my new self) than I have in almost 5 months. I ate, swam, thought, wondered, rested and remembered who I am after throwing off some big sad stories I have been carrying around that I just don't need anymore. On the airplane today M and I were talking about how we are moving in 3 days. She said "Mama, aren't you excited? This is what your dreamed about!" While I did not know what dream she was recalling, I have noticed that she has been very symbolic lately, so I took in deeply what she said. I realized that yes, my life radically shifting has been bone chillingly scary, but once I get past that,  I am getting the life I have always wanted. Truth, honesty, love, authenticity, my sweet daughter, choices, fabulous friends, health, and community. This trip helped me see that. This trip helped me see my beauty. And from those places comes my passion for creating food and healing and the journey we all take to nourish ourselves.
Well back to the nitty gritty. Here are some funny observations I had on this trip though:

Everyone and their brother except me has a Kindle at the Hilton
Getting a pool chair during a busy week at this Hilton requires secret ninja moves
Swimming lessons for a six year before a big beach trip is worth its weight in gold
Packing 4 boxes of crackers and snacks in our suitcases for the trip was a great idea

Las Ventanas is my dream destination resort...hands down
I have officially recovered from my fear of food borne illness in Mexico
I would love to bring all my girlfriends here asap
I love deserts

Cowpeas with Miso and Arugula Salad

Here are some photos of the ordered chaos. I am almost finished!!
Yesterday I picked up my grain share and there was (eureka!) a small jar of hand-crafted miso!! It is wonderfully mellow and salty. It is also soy free; made with purple cowpeas instead. Along with that was a one pound bag of Nigerian Cowpeas. They are considered a field bean or a shelling bean. I would interchange these in this recipe with black-eyed peas, mung beans or aduki beans which are in the genus Vigna along with cowpeas. This genus of beans are creamy, small beans that are easy to cook (60-80 mintes un-soaked). Because everything is almost packed here at my house, I decided to cook these beans that are on hand and thought the wonderful mellow miso would be a interesting flavor component. Baby arugula is at my coop and I knew that the peppery, lemon taste it has would be the perfect contrast. This dish has 5 ingredients! I topped it with the aged cheese also from my grain share, but any aged parmesean would work. I am glad it pulled together because M opened the fridge today and told me "Mama! We have no food in our house!" A favorite pastime of mine is to search the cabinets that have "nothing" in them and find a wonderful dish to make.
My small new house is painted now. The curtain rods are up, and it has been filled with love from all my friends who are showing up in work clothes to help M and I make our new place cozy. I can't wait to show all of you. I am saying goodbye to modern and hello to vintage. I will be honest and tell you Valentines Day was a sad day. I bought my little girl a dozen pink roses though. Showed up at kindergarten pick-up with the bouquet and she was pretty excited. Lemonade out of lemons. I can't do a thing to change people or their choices, but I can change my relationship to them and myself.  I am leaving for Cabo on monday. I am bringing my camera, but have not decided about bringing laptop or not. So in case we don't talk until I get back, I will thinking about you.



Cowpeas with Miso and Arugula Salad
makes 4 servings

1 cup dried cowpeas (or mung, blackeyed or aduki beans)
2 cups water (for cooking beans)
4 tsp. miso paste
2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
1/3 cup shaved aged parmesean cheese
4 cups baby arugula


Examine beans for rocks before you cook them. Wash them if they are dusty.
Cook beans and water on low simmer covered for 1 hour. Taste for tenderness.

Toss arugula in a bowl with two tsp. of olive oil. Toss with your clean hands to coat all the pieces.

Shave the parmesean so you have at least 4 good shaved pieces for each serving.

After peas are cooked, scoop around 1/2 cup in each bowl and stir in 1 tsp. of miso for each bowl. After mixing in miso, top with arugula and then with cheese.

Moving Update!

Whew! I am going to take photos to show how chaotic things are in my house with packing, painting and saying lots of goodbyes to our dream home. Three weeks until we set sail to our new abode. I have been diligently looking in town for a rental for M and I (and Charlie our cat) for weeks now. Finally last week a place fell into our lap and it is 4 doors down from my dear friend Kate. What luck! I am in awe at how the universe is working. I manifested the exact vision I had plus more. So, I am cramming in driving back and forth from town, packing, painting, cleaning, organizing and being a mama into each of these pretty winter days we are having. Cooking has taken a backseat. Last night and tonight for dinner was an arugula salad with a piece of toast and an egg. I thought for sure that M. would question egg and toast for dinner two night in a row, but she is on board with the craziness of the moment.  I am planning magical things to cook in my new, super-cute vintagey house though. It has an old fashioned white stove with six burners, two ovens and two broilers. I told my new landlord I like to cook. A lot.
So I promise to keep you all in the loop as things unfold. My friends and twin sister are working overtime to help my transition go smoothly. I could not do this alone. I know the life I thought I had was not really built on solid ground. Now my home base is myself, so there is never a question if it is solid. I have noticed that self compassion is one of the most solid feelings I have ever had. It just took a total disaster to wake up to my own loving self.  I get to fill up my cup until it overflows. I never need to look outside of myself again to be filled up.
My sister invited M and I to go to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico this year with her. Of course the trip is the week before I move. So, I plan to have everything related to my move completely wrapped up before I get on the plane. I am feeling good about this trip. I am thinking there won't be as many tears as the last couple of months. I am thinking that watching my little girl swim in the pool and say "watch me, watch me" is going to be a big treat.

Creamy Cauliflower Soup with Crispy Pancetta and Shitakes

I have been cryptic lately in my posts. So, I am just putting my news out there. Along with my recipes, photos, stories and kitchen tips, you have also been reading about my heartache. My marriage has dissolved. Ten years of togetherness has come to sudden end. An unexpected surprise filled with a kind of sadness I had not thought possible. Wave after wave filled with numbness, anger, sorrow, freedom, completeness and struggle are filled also with the knowing I will wash up on dry shore. I have been very lucky to have an entire community of friends and family tenderly holding me as I watch the carefully crafted fabric of my life be torn and stitched back together in a different way. I have wondered about those in the world who go through these experiences alone. I can understand how people could reach for food or relationships or drugs to escape this kind of pain. Running away from suffering seems so natural. Going outside of yourself keeps the pain at a distance. I am not though. I have chosen to dive into the inhospitable waters of my anguish and learn how to swim a new way. And you are here, reading this. So, thank you. All of you.

I packed a lot of boxes today. I am moving in a matter of weeks. So, meals are being simplified. I have one less person to cook for these past months, so my six year old has become my own professional pint-sized foodie companion. I hope I have not created a foodie monster. I am having visions of her starting protests someday in college because the salad bar does not have organic arugula. I think I will be able to keep it under control though. She loves a bagel just as much as she loves croissants. But her flavor palate is very evolved for a little person. Yesterday I had her try goat cream cheese. She loved it. Day before last she devoured a plate of oven roasted romanesco. I feel incredibly lucky that I will know all these little moments of her life. Last night it was creamy cauliflower soup with crispy pancetta. She thought it tasted like a bowl of mashed potato soup (with a version of bacon bits on top?). Simple does not have to taste simple though and this soup is a perfect example. We each had a bowl for dinner. I just ate another for a late lunch. The pancetta really gives this dish depth. The salty with the mellow cauliflower perks it right up. I used butter instead of my usual olive oil to keep it creamy. Since there is no cream, I wanted it to have some richness. So easy, so quick.


Creamy Cauliflower Soup with Crispy Pancetta and Shitake Mushrooms
serves 3 larger bowl or 4 small

1 med/large head of cauliflower
2- 2 1/2 cups stock (I used organic chicken)
pinch salt
1 1/2 tbls butter
3 oz. thinly sliced pancetta (or proscuitto)
2 cups chopped shitake mushrooms

Steam the head of cauliflower until tender. Put in a blender and add 2 cups stock. Blend. If it is too thick, add 1/2 cup more stock. Puree until smooth (about 2 min). Pour into sauce pan and cook on low simmer for 10 min. Taste for salt.
In cast iron (or non-stick) pan cook pieces of pancetta like you would bacon. Remove from pan with a fork when brown and crispy on each side. Add to the pan shitakes and 1 tbls. water to deglaze the pan. Sautee until soft; about 8 min. Chop the pancetta and top the soup with a spoonful of pancetta and shitakes.

Baby Artichokes baked with Bread Crumbs

Packing up a house is a mixed bag. In some ways I am really happy to get rid of about half of my things. On the other, it is sad to move my life under such sad circumstances. I am resigned to letting the emotions come out as they wish. It has been an exercise in loving for myself. No matter the thought, emotion or conversation I am having, I am doing it with a new found confidence for myself and my struggles.  I never thought I could be thankful about my life falling apart, but I am finding that I spend more and more days filled with gratitude and a sense of myself I have never had before. Suffering has been an unbiased teacher that has shown me the way to loving. The biggest gift in my life so far.

And so we have artichokes. I wait for the baby artichokes to show up in the market and then buy pounds of them. It has taken a few years of working with them to feel comfortable cooking them.  But I have mastered the learning curve! My secret is trimming them down to the yellow leaves. I cut off the bottom stem and almost the top half. Then I pick off the exterior leaves until I get down to the light yellow ones. If they are not trimmed enough, they are tough when you eat them. I have also tried to oven roast or pan sautee them, but have come to the conclusion that they should be steamed first and then are ready for a second cooking method if you want to impart more flavor. I mostly save baby artichokes for a special dinner occasion. They can get expensive if you buy a lot, and you need quite a few if you are using baby artichokes (I would say 4-6 per person). Today I made bread crumbs with fresh thyme and a buerre blanc sauce to add to the artichokes. Little M kept coming into the kitchen and digging her fingers into the buttery bread crumbs after they had cooled.  They have a bit more butter than I usually use, but it was the main dish for dinner tonight. Nice and hearty for cool January nights....

Baby Artichokes baked with Bread Crumbs
makes 4 small portions

12 baby artichokes trimmed
2 tbls butter
1 tbls fresh lemon juice (I used meyer lemon)
1 small shallot finely chopped
pinch salt
2/3 bread crumbs
2 tsp.
2 tsp fresh thyme
1 tsp mustard
1/3 cup white wine

Trim artichokes (see above paragraph for directions) and steam for 10 minutes. Make sure they are knife tender before removing from heat and cook longer than 10 minutes if needed. Cooking time will be slightly variable depending on how big the artichokes are.
In a pan add butter, lemon juice, shallot and heat until butter starts to foam. Add wine, mustard and thyme. Reduce to half and add artichokes (about 4 min). Use a spoon to scoop buerre blanc on top of artichokes until sauce has reduced and has thickened (about 5 min). Remove artichokes and set in a heat proof dish. Add breadcrumbs to pan with buerre blanc and heat through. Spoon bread crumbs over artichokes and bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees and bread crumbs start to brown.
To serve set artichokes on plate and scoop a spoonful of bread crumbs on top of each artichoke.

Baked Pumpkin Seeds

What a weekend. I spent a good part of it with my friends at the SYRCL Wild & Scenic Film Festival. Think Sundance, only smaller, quainter and no pretense. There were quite a few films focusing on food, farmers and sustainability. I was inspired. I felt hope! One film challenged the audience to know the farmer of one ingredient of one meal a day you eat. I am taking that challenge seriously. What do you think of that challenge? I imagined that it would be pretty exciting to really feel like you are supporting a farmer in your community and wonder if that could change how you feel about the meal you are eating.

Wendy Van Wagner, a local friend, colleague and entrepreneur served kale pesto and beet dip from this blog on crostinis she catered for the gala event for the film festival. I was honored! Mostly because she is a talented chef and teacher herself and owns her own local cooking school In The Kitchen and knows her stuff. Thank you again Wendy!

My recipe this week is from my sweet friend Nikiya. She is a fabulous cook herself. She introduced me to my local grain CSA I belong to. I went to her house one day and her partner Kevin gave me a handful of pumpkin seeds that she had soaked in water overnight and then baked in the oven with a bit of salt. I had to stop myself from eating the whole jar it was so tasty. Salty, crunchy, nutty and satisfying. I have been making them regularly since then and packing them in my bag before I leave the house for a snacks on the go. Soaking seeds make them more digestable and break down the enzymes that make nuts harder to digest. When you bake pumpkin seeds, the seeds puff up and then get crunchy. It reminds me of popcorn in a way. I am not kidding when I tell you that when I made these for a dinner party a week or two back the bowl was gone in less than five minutes and the adults had to stop the kids from taking handfuls and running down the hall to keep them for themselves. A sign of a successful dish! A wonderful snack, but great to put on top of soups, enchiladas, crostinis, oatmeal, chili, granola...a long list of compatible foods. And, this is super easy!

Puffy Pumpkin Seeds
makes two cups

2 cups raw green pumpkin seeds
1 tbls braggs liquid aminos

Soak pumpkin seeds overnight in a bowl of water. The next day, drain the seeds and combine with braggs in a bowl. Spread on a cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for around 15 minutes. Every five minutes use a spoon and gently stir the seeds. You will hear them start to pop as they start to dry and puff up. When they start to brown and are crunchy and not soggy at all, they are done. I let mine sit on the cookie sheet until they are cooled and then put into a glass jar for storage.
I use braggs liquid aminos because it is less salty then tamari which I think it overpowering to these little seeds. You could use sea salt too. Since you are not drying the seeds before you bake them, the salt sticks to the seeds. I know this recipe is easy, but you will never go back to traditionally roasted nuts after you try this alternative method.

Mandarin Marmalade

With good friend Marcellas over holiday break!

Mandarins are here. In my latest grain CSA I received a bag of mandarins and meyer lemons. I really love that winter in California has its own fruit ambassadors. Yesterday, I stopped myself after I ate six or seven mandarins. My daughter ate 4 after school. Oh how I love their tangy sweetness!
I ate those six mandarins before I sat down to meditate. They were on my mind. Meditating and falling asleep give me my best recipes. Today I was inspired to make mandarin marmalade. It was perfect because a dear friend of mine turned 40 just a few days before and I knew he would love homemade marmalade as a gift. I decided to add ginger for the warming properties it has as well as being a digestive tonic which makes it tailored for winter. Marmalade seemed the perfect way to pay tribute to a happy winter fruit. I did not add pectin to my recipe because I used mandarin peels which naturally have a lot of pectin, so just added the mandarins, peels, sugar, ginger and a bit of vanilla seeds. I did not get fussy at all with this recipe. I love rustic angles on food; the more untouched the better.

And with that I will share a few trends happening in my house right now gliding us into the new year...and say that I was in southern california after the holidays and was able to catch up with family and my dear friend, Marcellas!

1. big bowls of heirloom beans drizzled with olive oil and tamari. Good quality olive oil is spectacular drizzled over cooked beans.

2. turning the thermostat down to 60 to save on heating bills

3. taking lots of soaks in my ofuro to warm up from a cooler than normal house (dang! I am going to miss that ofuro when I move!)

4. making popcorn more often because it always seems like such a special treat (don't forget the yeast)

5. Frazey Ford...she is just singing the soul of where I am right now. Great interview and music clips from NPR...

6.The Swell Season... the duo that made the movie Once back in 2006. My favorite song of the album is High Horses

7. cooking dinner listening to #5 and #6.....

8. Sharing special wine with friends before I move that I have been collecting over the last seven years

9. Thinking, dreaming, wondering, manifesting my reality that showcases food, farmers, health and soul in marin county... preferably with the food network or style network ♥

10. practicing "surrender is not about giving up, it is about letting go"..thank you Christi



Mandarin Marmalade
makes a bit over a cup

2 cups mandarins inner piths removed
1 cup sugar
1/4 tsp. crushed vanilla beans
1 heaping tbls fresh chopped ginger
1/2 cup mandarin skins chopped

I peeled the mandarins with a paring knife. Then I chopped finely 1/2 cup of the skins. Remove the mandarin piths inside. It is a fantastic source of vitamin C, but in this case it will contribute to more bitterness than you might care for. Roughly chop mandarins into 1 inch pieces. Use a sharp knife so you don't lose too much juice on your cutting board.
Add mandarins, vanilla, sugar, skins and ginger to sauce pan. Bring to boil, then lower to simmer for 90 minutes.