Ralph Sr.

Our beloved Ralph Sr. died today. Suddenly and unexpectedly. M's Grandad. My father-in-law. I guess we all process our losses differently, but today I am going to try to tell you about all the things I loved about him and made him such a special person to our family. All the things I will really miss.
He was a steady, calm, patient man
He wore cashmere sweaters a lot and hugging him was the softest, coziest place
He was a master of "going with the flow"
He loved his family and accepted them unconditionally
Everyone wanted to hang out with him. He was just cool like that
His marriage was a model of success I will always aspire to
He kept everything uncomplicated and always seemed deeply at peace to me
He had healing hands
He was a fantastic host and always made people feel welcome
He loved lobster and crab legs and would sit at a table for as long as it took to finish them
He used to be a firefighter and I always thought that was so cool
He loved his wife deeply and would do anything for her
When he came to visit us, he loved to read newspaper and eat pastries
He always had a secret candy stash and would share it with me when I was visiting
He was never in a hurry and always on time
He gave me great big hugs and I got to kiss his very soft cheeks
He restored my faith in family

I love you so much Ralph.

valentine's day

I remember very clearly being in first grade and going to the A&P grocery store and picking out a box of valentines for my classmates. The funny commercial looking valentines everyone gave out in class to each other. I can't even remember if people signed them. It was more like trading baseball cards than valentines. Fast forward to present. A mixture of expectations and the rejection of commercialism has forced mothers around this messed up nation to hand make valentines day cards. I can understand the wonderful efforts to make special cards for special friends. In fact, our first wave of valentines day cards were spearheaded my M. asking me to help her make cards for her special friends. But the expectation of hand made valentines day cards for her whole class (even those classmates she does not share days with) is getting me all fired up. So I spent an hour yesterday making stupid hand made valentines. M. did not make them. She does not have patience to sit and make 20 cards. What person under the age of 8 does? And I actually STRESSED over if they were up cute enough. That is annoying. And it seems there is sort of an unwritten rule that the valentines must be hand made, not the commercial hello kitty or barbie variety. M. got her valentines from school this afternoon, and after today they will be a forgotten memory. Trash I will throw out. Well, recycle. Sometimes, I want things to be easy, like buying already made valentines day cards. Sometimes I think the expectations mothers have to meet the "standard" is bullshit. Sometimes I just want to not try so hard and still be accepted. Because kids don't care about what friggin valentine they get, and either do I.

"bikini" bread and playdates

Tuesdays is the day we spend with our friend B. He is ten days younger than M. and they have been buddies since their births. Can't you just feel the love? And M's double chin in the photo above just makes me laugh. They were playing restaurant, and I was their customer. We ate sushi and bread. I get lots done when these two play together. Today I made zucchini bread. Easy and great to pack in lunches. You can just leave it on the counter and little hands will randomly swipe pieces to snack on. These two kept forgetting how to say zucchini and by the end of the day M. was asking for "Bikini bread". Gotta love the four year olds. Better than SNL.

Big News

I am going back to work. There, I said it. I am really really happy and depressed at the same time. And while my dreams of becoming a fabric designer are not fading, they are taking a back seat to the reality of my real viable talent; nutrition. I am starting my private practice again that will likely include lab testing, cooking classes, and public speaking. I do admit I get a giddy feeling in my belly thinking about a room full of people listening to me talk about glutathione pathways. Hopefully I will find an office space in the next weeks. I am imagining a little studio in downtown Nevada City with a kitchen so I can do private cooking lessons along with meeting with clients. I really hope to hook in the local pediatricians so I can offer nutritional counseling to parents with children who have nutritional needs. Finally, I get to put on normal clothes and wear lipgloss.

Motivation

One of my closest girlfriends has been asking me if I want to do a 10 month online course with her and a small group of friends called Awakening to Joy. It was started by the founder of Spirit Rock in San Francisco and it basically meditation course that teaches basic minfulness and finding happiness by staying in the moment. Along with regular meditating, you write in a journal, read the book, and watch the YouTube clips. Our group of four women is going to meet once a month to meditate together, and check in by sharing our progress with each other. There was an article about the program in Oprah magazine and the lady who wrote the story sounded just like me. Reading the article I noticed we had lots in common
Worrier? check
Negative outlook on life a lot? check
Need other people for motivation? check
Spiritual? check
Wants to enjoy the life in front of me? check
So I am on the happy train now. I will let you know how it goes.

Foogo Thermos

Cannot live without this. Cannot. Part of my "I can't live without" list. You can get them at Target, and they are worth every penny. Here is why. See how wide the thermos mouth is? That makes it a breeze to clean. It is also stainless steel on the inside, which is the way to go. A perfect kid size thermos. I pack a lunch for M. and use it almost everyday. Here is a list of things I put in it for her lunch: (all warmed up that morning of school and almost always leftovers!)
pasta
soup
chili
stir fry veggies
steamed squash
sauteed zucchini
quinoa or rice with veggies
I just feel good inside knowing M. is eating a warm lunch. Sometimes she is not into it like last week when I tried to get away with pot roast leftovers, but 99% she goes with it. I am also a big supporter of zero waste lunch so this is right in line with that philosophy. For little kids they also sell an insulated sippy made of stainless steel that keeps beverages cold or warm. If you get one, tell me what you think!

Tapioca Starch

Remember me telling you about berry picking last summer? This week I broke out two bags of berries out of deep freeze and decided to make pie. I chose Logan berries and rasberries. Tart, musky and sweet. I have stopped using corn starch for binding pies and cobblers and instead use Tapioca starch. Corn starch just does not feel good in my body when I eat it, and tapioca starch binds beautifully. Very low allergens associated with tapioca so that is a bonus too. Whole Foods or your co-op will have tapioca starch. Here is my recipe for filling. You can of course buy frozen berries or use fresh berries. Just thaw out the berries before you make the filling. Blueberries are a really lush pie filling and mixing them with rhubarb with a little bit of cinnamon just makes my head dizzy with excitement. You can make you own crust, but here is a tip....Pillsbury pie crusts in the egg/dairy section next to the biscuits and cold cookie dough work really well. Very flaky and tender. If you are in a pinch they work great. I prefer them over hippie crusts. Also, let the pie rest on your counter for a couple of hours before serving to let it set. If possible even over night. Just cover with tin foil. This is a great way of bringing summer brightness into you kitchen in the dead of winter. Your family will be shocked that you have berry pie for them. Strawberries are in season right now, so buy some and mix it with frozen rasberries, or splurge and buy a couple pints of blueberries. Strawberry and blueberry pie is delish. Of course it is 65 and sunny here and we are desperate for rain, so I can't remember what winter feels like!

Pie filling
4 cups berries of your choosing
4 Tbls tapioca starch
1 cup sugar
zest of 1/2 lemon
1 Tbls lemon juice

Stir pie filling together and pour into crust. Top with crust and pinch sides together. Cut a few slits on the top. Put pie on a cookie sheet, because it will bubble over and it sucks to get pie goo on your oven bottom. It will smoke up your kitchen too! If you buy ready made pie crust it will take you 10 minutes to make this recipe. It is really really good with Straus Organic Vanilla Icecream.